Who do I tell? I held my phone in my hand opened to the messages app with my fingers poised to begin typing and I froze for a moment. Who should I reach out to with the news that all was not well with me? Seriously not well.
In my last newsletter and blog post, I shared my ordeal of facing down the very sobering diagnosis of a blood clot in my leg and embolisms in both of my lungs. Now almost four weeks removed from the initial trip to the ER and subsequent hospital stay, I am feeling more myself physically, albeit still a bit shaky emotionally. Thank you to so many of you who reached out with thoughtful email responses, texts and phone calls! In my next post I will share some of your insightful responses. Many folks have faced similar health journeys and, like me, have done significant soul searching around the question, “What now?” I want you to hear their perspectives, for which I am grateful.
But this other question, “Who do I tell?” was as important as “What now?” It made me consider, deeply, who my people are. Who would show up for me literally and virtually? Who would pray for me? Who would worry with me? Who would care?
Here’s what I learned in the days that followed my health scare.
Among my people are those who show up, literally. Our family doctor, Ingrid Mason, actually came to the E.R. and again the next day after I was hospitalized! What doctor does that anymore? I think she is one of the last of a dying breed of physicians who extend their in-person care beyond their office exam rooms. I was so touched by that and felt known the whole time I was in the hospital. Other friends stopped by my room to check in on me…some with tears, some with gifts, all with concern and all with encouragement. It is way beyond inconvenient to visit someone in the hospital. That says something about the ones who show up.
Among my people are the ones who bent over backwards to do the little things to make our lives more manageable in the recovery…shuttling my car home, providing food, etc. They made it clear it was an honor and a privilege to serve us. It was a good reminder to me, who prefers that people not make a fuss, that making a fuss is a calling for some people.
Among my people are those who remember and are still reaching out…”How are you feeling this morning?” “Anything you need today?” “Any news on diagnosis?” My people were, and still are, a steady presence with me being “on their heart” daily.
Among my people are those who “carry me to Jesus” on a continuing basis. One of my favorite stories from the gospels is about the four friends who loaded their paralyzed buddy on a stretcher, schlepped him through the crowds, manhandled him up a ladder, busted through a roof, and lowered the poor man, with ropes, down through the hole to bypass the hordes and face Jesus with his disability. Their commitment was audacious! Which of them came up with the idea? Who thought it was ok to break the law and destroy someone’s property? Who paid for it? And who believed Jesus would heal him? Those four guys represent all my people who prayed faithfully for me.
Among my people were a lot more folks than I initially imagined there would be. Five and a half years ago I walked away from a long career in pastoral work. As I did, I left behind a lot of co-workers, friends and acquaintances. It happens. When your role changes, so do most of the relationships that centered around that role. I’m not going to lie… at times, in the transition I have felt very lonely. Sitting on the gurney in the E.R., that was hanging over me. “Who do I tell?” initially felt like a hurtful reminder of my diminished community. But every time I sent a text or made a call, another name would pop into my mind…and another…and another. In the end I realized, gratefully, how many, now, are among those I would call my people. A few old friends who have stayed close and plenty of new companions I now hold dear. What a lovely surprise to come out of some very dark days! I am rich with loved ones.
As always, I’d love to hear from you and am grateful when you write back! Also, I and my team…Tajuana, Heather, Liv, Micah are ready to sit down with you to help you process your life and calling. Click below to see how we might help you, your organization or your group find your purpose! And stay tuned…some very exciting Destinyworks news is about to drop!
And…by the way…thanks for being a part of the greater Destinyworks community!
https://www.destiny-works.com/personal-coaching/
https://www.destiny-works.com/group-workshop/